There’s really no other way to describe what I feel in regards to being separated from my diabetes supplies other than that I exhibit signs of anxiety. I can never fully be separated from my supplies at any given time.
Here are some classic examples of my behavior:
On my wedding day, I clearly remember clutching my clutch the entire time that I wasn’t sitting at the table or dancing. My mother-in-law offered multiple times to hold it for me, but I couldn’t let it out of my eyesight or control. Somehow, I feel like my supplies are only safe with me, even though I know that’s not true.
My husband will never have to carry my purse for me either. It’s the same as above, I have it ingrained in my head that my supplies are only safe with me. I know that he knows how important the are, literally life or death, but I can’t get over it.
Even if going for a short walk or into a meeting in another room, I always bring glucose tabs. Since I wear a CGM, I do not feel the need to bring my meter, but it does feel discomforting without it.
At home, I bring my purse with me from room to room. At night, my purse, which has everything I could possibly need in it, sits next to my nightstand. During the day, my purse hangs out in the living room. Our apartment isn’t even that big that I need to transport it, but I can’t stand not having it out of my literal reach.
However, I’ve gotten better.
Every once in a while, I ask my husband to carry my glucose tabs or keep something else in his pockets for me. I’ve learned I need to let go and trust a little more. It’s hard, but when I read this quote in Bright Spots and Landmines by Adam Brown, I knew I needed to start trying harder:
Don’t do diabetes alone.
Do any of you also struggle with separation from your diabetes supplies?
Afterthought, it’s a great idea to ALWAYS have adequate supplies, including glucagon and low fixers when out and about. In the situations above, I feel that I must be in control of where they are and how far away they are from me. Please don’t take this as me saying I don’t think it’s important to not have them with. IT IS CRITICAL TO ALWAYS HAVE SUPPLIES WITH AT ALL TIMES.